Legacy of Love

Being a mom of 4 is quite the challenge. And even though I have gotten a lot stronger since my c-section I have come to realize that sometimes there is just not enough time in the day. I have gotten to the point where I am needing more breaks to rest than I ever had before. I feel bad about that sometimes because I want to give out more so my kids will remember how much I loved them. But I get so darn tired and just need moments of rest.

One of the things I love to do is watch a movie or a documentary while they nap or dad takes them outside to play. One documentary in particular has recently sent me on a thought journey and taught me an important lesson. Being intentional and devoted is the first things that help create a legacy of love for our children and that is what matters the most.

August 1997 was the year that I was 8 turning 9. It was also the month and year that Diana, Princess of Wales died. I was watching  Dianna: In her Own Words on Netflix and revelation sprang forth in my heart. She was the first person I ever looked up to. I barely remember much about the first time I had heard her name. But I knew she was someone very much loved and the beauty of her heart drew me in.

I was so young then on the day of her funeral. My heart was breaking knowing that this person no longer graced this Earth. And I cried. I remember being shocked of how many people were there at her funeral as well every other memorial services around the world.  I had no idea I was not the only who took notice of her. But what amazed me the most were the words being spoken about this woman. This mother.

When I heard of all that she did for the sick and the left behind I thought in my mind “I want a heart like that. I want to do that one day.” I could have never imagined that my heart would grow to have a hunger to be a humanitarian as well. There is a natural born hatred in me for injustice and suffering. And one day very soon I will be traveling to the least of these just to sow the love of Christ.

As I grew up I came across more information about Diana. The more I found out the more I fell in love wit her. This woman was long gone but she left such a legacy of love that it was still being felt by the living. The one thing that I came across that stood out to me more than anything about Diana was her absolute love and devotion for her children. Each photo and video I saw of her and the two boys,  I remember thinking “I want to be a mother like that!”

I see now well before my children had even entered this world God was already sowing in my heart His will for me as a mother through Diana. I had no other influence. The main women in my life abused me. Hatred and lies were being sown in me daily but the Lord always brought me across women that would sow truth in me and combat it all. All these years it was meant for the now., the today as a mother of four beautiful children.

Some may think that is idolatry. Call it what you want, all I know is God will use the people around you as a child to help you to grow in the way you should go. God always knows what He is doing. And though I had no mother to teach me I had Diana.

In this season of motherhood today I am learning that being an intentional devoted mother is the first step. Devoted to raising well fed healthy kids. Devoted to praying with them and reading them the Word. Intentional in teaching them and disciplining them according to God. Intentionally creating an atmosphere of peace and rest. Some days it’s all that I can do that day and that is enough.

Let me share with you this intentional piece of a letter I just wrote in my motherhood diary. That day was  I was so tired and all I could do is take care of their basic needs and write them a little letter:

“I want to always make sure no matter what, I am doing my part as your mother. It can be hard when I am hurting. But you guys as well as the Lord, get me out of bed every morning and keep me moving forward. You are truly a gift to me. Each one of you created something beautiful in my character.”

There are so many things I have done that I know is creating a legacy of love for my children. I want them to always know that they have been a huge part of who I have become as a mother and women. That Life without them is unimaginable. So I have to remind myself daily. Be intentional and stay devoted. If  today that’s all I’ve got that is everything they need.

God bless you!